Wednesday, July 25, 2012

One Week

Hey Everyone!

One week, that's all we have left.  I still can't believe that we are moving to Durango in one week.  I'm not sure if it just hasn't hit me yet, but I'm not that nervous or scared.  Every time I think of it, I get so excited!  I'm excited for this adventure.  I'm excited to do something totally out of my comfort zone.  I'm excited for a change.  I really feel like only good things can come from this move.  I know I"ll probably get a little sad in the coming days.  We are leaving all our friends and family here.  I've never left Arizona so this is a huge deal for me, but I'm just so excited!!

We've had a lot of people tell us lately that they are so jealous of us.  I've been hearing it, but it wasn't until this weekend after church that it really hit me.  We have been so blessed!  We are in such a unique position.  We both work for an amazing company that is letting us keep our jobs and work from home full time.  And as much as we want children, because we don't have them, we are able to pick up and go anywhere we want without taking kids into consideration.  I think it's so easy to sometimes get caught up in the things that we want and don't have, that we forget to look at what we do have.  We are so blessed.  When I look back on the last few years I find it so interesting how it's all worked out to lead us to this very spot. 

I so believe it's true that God has a plan for our lives.  He knows what he is doing.  He sees the big picture.  I just can't wait to see what comes next!!

My favorite verse, the one that keeps me going through all of this.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11


Monday, July 16, 2012

Why Durango?

Hey Everyone!

It has a been a super busy few weeks and it's only going to get crazier.  For those of you that don't know, we signed a year lease on an amazing house in Durango last weekend and we will be moving August 1st!!  That gives us less than 3 weeks to pack up our entire house!!  Thank God for family and friends who are willing to help! 

I did want to write a little bit about how this decision came about and why we chose Durango.

As you all have witnessed on this blog, this year has been tough for me so far.  I've struggled a lot.  I was starting to feel very stuck and unhappy.  My life was not going the way I had envisioned and I was having a hard time accepting that.  In mid April I really started to feel that something needed to change. 

When I first met Ryan he told me that his dream would be to move back to Colorado some day.  He lived in Durango for a year and he's always said that it was one of the best years of his life.  I've never ever wanted to move.  I liked where I lived and had no desire to leave.  Plus my family and friends are here and I never wanted to move far away from them.  After we got married, we just assumed that we would live here forever and it was fine for both of us.  We bought our house and figured after a couple of years we would have some kids and live happily ever after.  Obviously that didn't happen. 

Infertility has 100% changed our lives. 

One Monday at work this overwhelming desire to move came over me and I spent the whole day looking at houses in Durango.  I got home that evening and told Ryan what I had spent my day doing and he said, "Don't mess with me, you know how much I would love to live there."  I told him that I was serious, that I really think we need a change of scenery.  From that day it moved very very quickly.  We met with the Realtors and had our house on the market less than 2 weeks later. 

Since the decision to move has been made, I have felt so excited and hopeful.  I know this is the right thing for us to do.  I'm ready for a different lifestyle.  I'm ready to be more active, and live in a small town.  I'm ready to just enjoy life and not stress about babies and infertility.  I know this move is not going to "fix" our infertility.  And I absolutely know that I am not running away from anything.  The fact is when it comes to infertility, it will follow us where ever we go, because I am infertile.  Period. 

We've already had people tell us that we will probably get pregnant when we get there and to be ready.  This annoys me.  It is not stress that is keeping us from having a baby.  In the 3 years since we've been trying, we've been on many stress free vacations and nothing has happened.  I have a diagnosed issue.  That being said, I do believe in miracles.  If God wants to grant us our desire to have a baby when we move, we will be thrilled, but that is NOT why we are moving.  I think we are done trying for a little while.  Having a baby is no longer my main priority.  I want to take care of myself.  I want to enjoy our time in our new home, in a new town.  I want to enjoy our life together, just the two of us (and our dogs!).  The truth is I could wait another 10 years and be in the same spot I am now, doing donor egg IVF.  I doubt we will wait that long, but who knows what the future holds.  I sure don't...

Here are some pictures of where we will be living!

Us signing the lease!

Master shower 

Master bathroom 

Master Bedroom 

Spare Bedroom (1 of 2) 

Spare Bathroom 

Living Room

View from the back deck 

The Kitchen 

 The Dinning Room

Stay tuned! (I'll try not to wait so long for the next post, but I can't promise anything! We are moving!!! YAY)