This STINKS!!

Hi Everyone!

I would like to tell to you all about a situation that happened this previous weekend.

I mentioned before that Ryan and I work for a travel agency. Well, because January was such a good month for the sales teams, Ryan and some of the other supervisors were given a free night's stay at a local casino. We were excited to have a reason to go out and get dressed up. We were also excited to just hang out with some work friends.

One of our co-workers, who I don't know very well, brought his girlfriend. When I first saw her she was sitting down. A little bit later she walked by me and I saw that she was obviously pregnant. My reaction to that was, "Oh man, she's pregnant!" I feel like I should probably explain what kind of sounds like a rude reaction. I have probably said it before, but I really really want to experience pregnancy. Seeing pregnant women is often harder for me than seeing babies. When I see a pregnant woman it is actually painful. It's hard to explain the physical reaction my body has, but it's an aching, empty feeling. It usually goes away just as quickly as it came, but that's almost always my first reaction.

After we said hi to everyone, Ryan and I went to walk around. He played blackjack and I watched. We were having a nice evening and I totally forgot about pregnant girl (that's what I'm going to call her). Later in the evening we came across her and another girl, who we work with, playing some slot machines. When we walked up, I immediately noticed that pregnant girl was drinking a glass of red wine and eating a bag of Doritos. I was kind of shocked at first, but then I just figured that one glass of red wine was probably okay and it's not really my place to judge. I just tried to ignore her altogether. We walked away again to talk to other people. The next time that we walked past pregnant girl, I noticed that she not only had a glass of wine, but she was now smoking!

At that point was when I completely lost it! Thank goodness we were walking away from her and I just saw it in passing because I'm not sure what I would have said. As it was, when I saw that I said to Ryan, "Are you F*cking kidding me, she's f*cking smoking!" I really really try not to curse, but it was such an uncontrollable response. I was absolutely furious! I then proceeded to burst into tears and tell Ryan I was ready to go back to the room. I was totally done hanging out for the night.

Now I've talked to other people who think it's completely wrong and disturbing, not to mention, harmful for a pregnant woman to be smoking and drinking. My reaction was that times like a million. I try not to play the why me card, because really, why not me? I'm no more special than any other person dealing with any other issue. But when I saw that, all I could think was why does she get to be pregnant? Why does she get to have a baby growing inside her and I can't? I was very very upset, we both were.
So what have we learned here? We've learned that smoking and drinking while pregnant is bad. Oh yeah, and it also makes an infertile woman lose her mind!

~Tonya