Tomorrow is our 5 year anniversary. I can't believe it's been 5 years already. I've been feeling a little sad and I guess, pensive, this week. I just can't help but think of where we thought we'd be at 5 years. I thought we'd have one child and probably be working on a second. I thought we'd be living in AZ. I thought we'd be those happy, but tired parents. I most certainly didn't see us living in Durango with two dogs and no kids.
I've been going through our wedding pictures and I feel like I hardly recognize that girl who got married 5 years ago. She looks so young and fresh and happy. She was so full of excitement over what she had planned for her new life with her husband. It makes me both happy and sad to look at those pictures.
I think another reason our anniversary makes me a little sad is because it was around our second anniversary that we decided to start trying to have a baby. It's been 3 years now. I can't believe we've been trying for 3 years. And I wonder how much longer we will be married before we have a child/children. Will we celebrate 7, or 8, or 10 years without children? It's strange because I can picture that now. The longer it's just the two of us, the harder it is to imagine children in our lives. This scares me a bit.
Obviously my life is not where I thought it would be on that day 5 years ago and I have no way of knowing what will happen in the next 5 years. I do know that I am married to the most wonderful man. This whole infertility business sucks, but I am so thankful that I have Ryan by my side. I can't wait to see what the next 5 years holds!!
Happy 5 years to Us!! \Here are some pictures for your enjoyment! I'm warning you, I had a hard time choosing so there are a lot of them!
Wow, that was a lot of pictures!
~Tonya
2 comments:
I feel like I have the urge to write the same thing every time I read your blog. "I can so relate!" Living in the moment can be so hard and yet we have the wonderful men right here next to us making this moment a lot better for us than for a lot of people! Sometimes though, it's so bittersweet to think of what could have been... what should have been & what might never be. I'm dealing with more health stuff now when I should be on the upswing so that exact same, "will it ever happen" feeling has been haunting me. I've had enough of two steps forward three steps back!!! One step back, I could take at this point!!!lol
No choice but to keep the faith sweet Tonya. I hope you feel solace in your surroundings and in the fact that fate will take it's course no matter what our plans our. And we, being who we are, will find love and satisfaction in that path. xoxo
Why don't I proof read??? Just woke up :D And I forgot to say HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!!!!!!!
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