Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Post Cleanse Update

Hi Everyone!

Well it's been a week and a half since the cleanse ended.  It went well.  I stuck with it the entire time and I felt really good afterward.  I started reintroducing food back in and so far I have not had an issue with anything, so that's a relief.

Last week I went in and the nutritionist gave me my fertility diet.  It is pretty much the exact same thing I was eating during the cleanse, I just have portions now.  A large reason for this is because I told her that I would also like to lose some weight.  But, I'm really having a hard time with this diet.  I feel horrible any time I cheat.  I think I've put a ton of pressure on myself with this diet and I think that I may need to dial it back some.  Unfortunately, I have a horrible habit of getting really overwhelmed and then just shutting down.  I don't want that to happen with this eating healthy thing.  I had a bit of a sad realization yesterday at work and ended up crying and leaving early (Can you say PMS and lack of comfort food??).  I realized that because this is a fertility diet I am secretly hoping that it helps us get pregnant on our own, but when I think about it logically, I know it probably won't.  That is not the point of the diet.  The point is to be as healthy as I can so that when we are ready to start treatments they will have a better chance of working.  So I'm struggling right now because we don't have any immediate plans to start treatments.  It all feels kind of pointless.  

But, after talking to a really good friend and my wonderful husband, I think I have a better grasp on it all today.  I need to keep my end goal in mind.  What is it that I really want?  Do I want to be able to eat and drink anything I want, or do I want a healthy body able to carry a baby someday?  I also realized that the only person I am doing this for is myself.  If I want to have a glass of wine with dinner or an extra portion of grains, then I can, but it needs to be in moderation and I need to be a little less crazy about it.  Basically, I need to chill out and relax and maybe cheat with a piece of chocolate!!

Stay tuned
~Tonya

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think you Ryan are probably two of the coolest people i know and hate the fact that your going through this....Keep your head up.

and as a lactose intolerant person.... i will sit beside you and eat all the chocolate and camp out in your bathroom if that would help anything!

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