Infertility Treatments: Take One

Hi Everyone!!

Warning: This post is a little TMI and if you think you might be uncomfortable reading it, I would stop now! When you are infertile and doing treatments you just can't be embarrassed about this stuff.

In my last post I told you all that we were going to start treatments.  In this post I'm going to tell you about the treatments that we are doing.

Infertility treatments are weird.  They are stressful and unnatural.  They are so ridiculous and yet can be so amazing.  Our first treatment started at the end of December.  This is the treatment that most people who are struggling to get pregnant start with.  I was told to call the office on day one of my cycle and on day three I went in for a baseline ultrasound.  Now, I want you all to keep in mind that every time I say I went in for an ultrasound, I'm talking about a vaginal ultrasound.  I was given a drug to take on day three.  The drug is called letrozole (femara) and I had to take it for 5 days (days 3 through 7 of my cycle).  One day 9 I went in for another ultrasound so the Dr could check the follicles on my ovaries.  The great news is that I responded great to the drug and the Dr was very happy with the results.  On day 11 I went back for another ultrasound.  The afternoon of day 11 I went back to the office one more time and received a trigger shot in my arm which forces ovulation.  At this point is where the timed intercourse comes in.  We had to DTD (this is how I've referred to it for awhile now, it means do the deed) 24 hours and 36 hours after the shot.  I got the shot at 5 pm so the 24 hours after wasn't too big of a deal.  The 36 hours after was a little more difficult.  Setting an alarm at 5 in the morning and knowing that you have to DTD is extremely stressful and puts a ton of pressure on it.  We were not successful at 5am.  However, we were successful a little later in the morning.  After that we had to wait for 2 weeks before taking a pregnancy test to see if it worked.

It's hard to describe the feelings I had during that first cycle.  I kept thinking that we paid $1220 for this treatment and what if it doesn't work because we couldn't DTD at 5 in the morning, which I didn't want to say because the last thing I wanted to do was make Ryan feel guilty.  I had to take the drugs and get the ultrasounds, but he had to perform.  That's so much pressure and completely takes the romance out of it.  They start the treatment with timed intercourse because they say it makes it feel a little more natural, but I'm not sure it does.  It's not very natural to be forced to do it at a certain time and to feel like you failed if you can't.

Those two weeks of waiting were stressful.  I didn't drink any wine during that whole time which is good, but was extremely difficult at the time.  I was anxious and I just wanted a glass.  I tried to give up coffee but I couldn't or wouldn't, I guess.  I tried to eat healthy and exercise, but I wasn't sure at what intensity I should exercise.  I watched more TV than normal because I just needed to keep my mind occupied.  I didn't want to talk about any of it.  I was terrified that it would work and we would have to move out of our house at the end of our lease in August because our landlords live directly below us and wouldn't want a screaming baby above them.  Then I felt so guilty for missing wine and not wanting to move.  Ha.  It was two weeks filled with tons of emotions.  I prayed and prayed and prayed some more.

By the time the two weeks were just about up, I knew it didn't work and I was right.  The Dr had told us numerous times to not be surprised if it didn't work the first cycle because it typically doesn't.  I took the test and it was negative.  I called the Dr to let him know and they told me to take one again the next day, which just annoyed me because I knew one day wasn't going to change the fact that I wasn't pregnant.  The next day it was still negative.  I was prepared for that result and honestly wasn't that upset.  I know my body and I knew that I wasn't pregnant, but Ryan still had that hope, so it was much harder on him.  

I still look at that first cycle as a success.  My ovaries responded to the drugs, which is huge!!  I never thought they would.  I thought they were shutting down, so knowing that they responded just gave us hope that we had lost.  We've since started a second cycle and again I'm praying like crazy that it works.  I feel much better emotionally this cycle.  I'm not nearly as stressed.  I'm not missing wine and I don't care if we have to move.  I'm just trying to go with the flow and relax.  If it doesn't work (which I'm trying not to think), I'm not sure how many more cycles we will be able to do and at what point they will switch and do an IUI (intrauterine insemination), where they stick the sperm directly in my uterus.  We're still paying for all of this out of pocket so it will start to add up.  But, for now I choose to be optimistic and hope that we don't have to do too many before it works.

Please keep us in your prayers and send us positive baby vibes!! I'll keep you all posted.

~Tonya