It has a been a super busy few weeks and it's only going to get crazier. For those of you that don't know, we signed a year lease on an amazing house in Durango last weekend and we will be moving August 1st!! That gives us less than 3 weeks to pack up our entire house!! Thank God for family and friends who are willing to help!
I did want to write a little bit about how this decision came about and why we chose Durango.
As you all have witnessed on this blog, this year has been tough for me so far. I've struggled a lot. I was starting to feel very stuck and unhappy. My life was not going the way I had envisioned and I was having a hard time accepting that. In mid April I really started to feel that something needed to change.
When I first met Ryan he told me that his dream would be to move back to Colorado some day. He lived in Durango for a year and he's always said that it was one of the best years of his life. I've never ever wanted to move. I liked where I lived and had no desire to leave. Plus my family and friends are here and I never wanted to move far away from them. After we got married, we just assumed that we would live here forever and it was fine for both of us. We bought our house and figured after a couple of years we would have some kids and live happily ever after. Obviously that didn't happen.
Infertility has 100% changed our lives.
One Monday at work this overwhelming desire to move came over me and I spent the whole day looking at houses in Durango. I got home that evening and told Ryan what I had spent my day doing and he said, "Don't mess with me, you know how much I would love to live there." I told him that I was serious, that I really think we need a change of scenery. From that day it moved very very quickly. We met with the Realtors and had our house on the market less than 2 weeks later.
Since the decision to move has been made, I have felt so excited and hopeful. I know this is the right thing for us to do. I'm ready for a different lifestyle. I'm ready to be more active, and live in a small town. I'm ready to just enjoy life and not stress about babies and infertility. I know this move is not going to "fix" our infertility. And I absolutely know that I am not running away from anything. The fact is when it comes to infertility, it will follow us where ever we go, because I am infertile. Period.
We've already had people tell us that we will probably get pregnant when we get there and to be ready. This annoys me. It is not stress that is keeping us from having a baby. In the 3 years since we've been trying, we've been on many stress free vacations and nothing has happened. I have a diagnosed issue. That being said, I do believe in miracles. If God wants to grant us our desire to have a baby when we move, we will be thrilled, but that is NOT why we are moving. I think we are done trying for a little while. Having a baby is no longer my main priority. I want to take care of myself. I want to enjoy our time in our new home, in a new town. I want to enjoy our life together, just the two of us (and our dogs!). The truth is I could wait another 10 years and be in the same spot I am now, doing donor egg IVF. I doubt we will wait that long, but who knows what the future holds. I sure don't...
Here are some pictures of where we will be living!
Us signing the lease!
Master shower
Master bathroom
Master Bedroom
Spare Bedroom (1 of 2)
Spare Bathroom
Living Room
View from the back deck
The Kitchen
The Dinning Room
Stay tuned! (I'll try not to wait so long for the next post, but I can't promise anything! We are moving!!! YAY)
~Tonya
6 comments:
Tonya, I am really happy for you! You do need a change in scenery. Best wishes for the both of you!
May God bless you in a way that you never dreamed!
Love,
Aunt Phyllis
So excited for you guys and hope that all goes well for you and the move.
Thanks for keeping us updated!
~Cheryl
Guess what... I cried reading this!!!LOLOLOL
I'm just so happy for you in every way. Our thought processes and ways of coping are so similar and that is SO comforting. I'm stuck right now with the physical stuff but my mind is plotting and planning our next change. My only goal is to keep our lives full. I'm making sure I have a few different avenues to achieve that similar satisfaction that the progress working towards any important goal brings; be it parenting, career or new friendships! Yesterday I got on the foster site and started organizing to create my wedding gift business!lolol It all helps.
Can't wait to see more but I do like the looks of that guest suite ;)xoxo
Hey Tonya!! I know I've never commented on any of your posts yet but i do want u to know i read every one of them. U are such a strong, beautiful woman, awesome writer(God obviously blessed u with that for a reason), and very inspiring! I'm so proud of u for sharing your story with us!! Anyway, your new home is beautiful and the land is amazing!! I wish u the very best in your new journey!! I love you!! Your Cousin,
I just found your blog, I have a little miracle through donor sperm and I understand your pain, although male factor infertility is a much easier battle as far less expensive. I wish you all the luck in your future. Whatever it holds make sure you aim for happiness xxxxx
Tonya, Just read your latest blog! How exciting for you and Ryan to be moving. I fully understand the excitement and the sadness of leaving family behind. When we moved to Washington last fall it was the same. Sad to leave family behind but the excitement of a new start in a new town. Enjoy your new beginning in Durango. God does have a plan for us and we never know where he will lead us but I know you and Ryan have such a strong faith in God you will be awesome in what ever comes your way~! God Bless your move~!
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